Hello,
Well what can I say, For the first time I finally got my hubby to agree to get a real diamond. Now this isn't any diamond...it's exactly what I wanted. With this relationship it just seems like everything has to be different, so it's a black diamond w/ baggets...beautiful.

Now, my only fear is when I got to order it last night I got some cold feet, I couldn't order it before I talked to him if this is really what he wanted as well as Me! It's not made from another ring, it has no good or bad memories behind it and this is one that will be the "official" engagement ring to build our own memories on and cherish each moment. Here was the letter I wrote him:

I didn't order my ring yet because...

I needed to talk to you but didn't get the time to do that. I wanted to know if this is what you wanted as well as me..I started crying because I don't know if you do..This will be the "official" engagement ring to me and you just didn't seem that enthused about it as me so I didn't know how to take it. Are you ready?

I am overwhelmed and excited at the same time because I did finally find something that resembles something of our love and something that I want from you that is a token and something that I will keep close to my heart at all times.

I may have touch of cold feet at the moment but I waited for so long to find what I want. It's not from a previous marriage, I didn't force you into having one designed, there's no good or bad memories behind it; it's fresh new and one that we can build our own memories on and cherish for as long as we stay by each other's side. Which is hopefully forever?

I do love you with all of my heart and soul; nothing is standing in my way, I have grown to love, respect, cherish and adore you with every step and beat of my heart.

I had some time to sit here and and express what I needed to, I hope you don't mind, I just knew it would come out better here than talking to you, it's still how i feel and what I needed to say.
I love you.
Me..

Well, I didn't end up letting him read it, I talked to him in person. Now the difficulty with the bank card and Zales, there was information that was screwed up so it took us about 12 hours to get the thing ordered! I was starting to give up and think this is just not meant to be!

Then this is the kicker, I was locked out of my verizon acct, because I changed the password from him previously going in and changing stuff on my acct because of Toni, and I was p.o'd and hurt because it racked up my bill. Well, when I finally figured it out, he had a fit because I wouldn't give him the password and right away I was hiding something, to the point he was going to do the hacker check up to my phone! What could I possibly be hiding? Were together everyday, he knows what comes in and goes out of my phone! Who the hell would I be interested in around here or anywhere for that matter, because I don't go anywhere or do anything without him. I love him to no end and this has really bummed me out! How could he think something like that? The best I guess I can give my self is life goes on and somethings were meant to be, but I don't need the heartache anymore.

This is it for now, come back later~